Consent: A Simple Word

DISCLAIMER: this post contains my views on the Stanford rape case and questions sexual consent.  This might make for uncomfortable reading for some.

“If you’re still struggling with consent just imagine instead of initiating sex you’re making them a cup of tea” – Thames Valley Police

This week I sat down to read the Stanford Rape victim’s letter.  This 7,244 word-letter is a harrowing account of of her rape in January 2015.

Reading about her horrific experience, I had tears running down my face.

What an incredibly brave woman.

Even as I am writing this, I feel that brave doesn’t even do this lady justice!

“You took away my worth, my privacy, my energy, my time, my safety, my intimacy, my confidence, my own voice, until today.”

After everything she has been through, she still found the strength to sit down and write that letter.  This was the reason I read the letter.  If she had the courage to write the letter, the least I could do was read it and let her voice be heard.

What she went through – is still going through – should never, ever be experienced.

As for the guilty party, words cannot express how angry it makes me that his sentance was so lenient.  He will walk away from this after a few months.  There is something seriously wrong with the justice system if this is something that can happen.  As a result of this, the internet has exploded with outrage.  And, quite rightly so.

Consent is not a hard concept to grasp.

Thames Valley Police produced a simple video which sums the concept of consent up perfectly:

“If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they’re like “er you know I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea, or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – and this is the important bit – don’t make them drink it.”

Thames Valley Police say:

“Together we can stop rape by ensuring everyone knows when they have sexual consent – and when they do not.

Sex without consent is rape

Rape happens to people of all genders and sexualities. About 92 percent of victims are female and eight percent male. Most rapes occur between people who know each other in some way.”

If you want to know more about the campaign from Thames Valley Police, please visit:

Should you be affected by this and need support, please visit:

Remember #Consentiseverything

Consent Is Everything




  1. 23rd June 2016 / 12:15 pm

    It is so sad that we even have to teach the concept of “consent” and that some people don’t even know the meaning of it. I guess, like most, we take it for granted that the meaning of consent is universal. The Tea Campaign is a very effective message, I feel. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:11 pm

      I really liked the tea campaign, it is a sad world when some people don’t understand the concept as you say xxx

  2. 21st June 2016 / 7:11 pm

    It was so so hard to read for me – especially because of the topic hitting personal, she was so so brave and I hope she’s doing better now and that she’s getting all the help that she needs. The campaign is so important and I think the Tea thing was really good – I hadn’t seen it before but I think they did a very good job with it.


    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:30 pm

      I am sorry to hear that hun, yes I think the campaign really hits home and is very well done x

  3. 21st June 2016 / 6:47 pm

    A powerful campaign that puts it quite simply, and is easy enough for ANYONE to understand. I hope she has the appropriate support around her and the strength to rebuild her life. #AnythingGoes

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:30 pm

      I hope so too xx

  4. 21st June 2016 / 2:45 am

    Great post. One good thing that may possibly come from this tragic circumstance is that posts like this one may lead to more conversation with our sons and perhaps do a little something help others in the future #anythingoes

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:32 pm

      Absolutely, so important to spread the message and raise awareness xxx

  5. 20th June 2016 / 9:35 pm

    It breaks my heart that people continue to suffer in this way at the hands of others who just feel that they have a right to make demands without consent. The Tea campaign is outstanding and I applaud the way that it has been handled with a view to increasing awareness, but it worries me that videos like this are even needed in the first place. Thank you for sharing this post with us at #fartglitter and supporting this critically important campaign xx

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:33 pm

      True they should not be needed in the first place 🙁 x

  6. 20th June 2016 / 7:39 pm

    Such an important subject and how brave was that woman. It’s amazing that consent has become something so many people are confused about and that videos like the above are needed. Thanks for linking to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:34 pm

      so brave of her to stand up in this way, thanks for commenting x

  7. 20th June 2016 / 2:35 pm

    The ‘tea’ campaign is superb but some people seem to be beyond help – cannot comprehend the strength of character that she is showing right now. #bigpinklink

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:13 pm

      I know it is incredible the letter this lady wrote. x

  8. 20th June 2016 / 1:02 pm

    I agree, she was beyond brave, especially having to stand up to a kid and his family, who were well respected and adamant that nothing untoward had gone on 🙁

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:14 pm

      Very brave lady that is for sure, I am not sure I would have been able to do the same. x

  9. Geraldine
    20th June 2016 / 2:45 pm

    My heart cries for this woman, she is undoubtedly brave and strong. You’re right consent really is NOT a hard word to grasp, but liberties are taken and respect is not given. I wonder at the world we live in #AnythingGoes

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:35 pm

      Agreed hun, it is a sad world when consent is something that needs to be explained or reminded 🙁 x

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