It felt like a long time since I was admitted into the hospital. Nearly two weeks later, we were told the fabulous news that we were getting home.
It had been a huge rollercoaster of emotions. From not knowing what was wrong with me, to finding out I had HELLP syndrome.
However, by far the hardest was seeing my littlest baby sleeping in the Billiruben bed.
Thankfully, with a lot of careful treatment, we were both given the all-clear on the Tuesday evening to go home the following day.
My husband arrived in the room with the two car seats.
I felt a mix of excitement and fear as I realised that soon we would be leaving the hospital. Being the only ones in charge of these two tiny bundles. I had not appreciated the sense of security of having 24-hour access to a midwife.
We waited anxiously to receive the discharge forms.
We waited for hours.
Hubby was climbing the walls as he was desperate to get us all home. I am sure he had been doing the new Dad equivalent of nesting, while we were in the hospital.
He sent me photos of what he had been doing in the house when he had any spare time: everything cleaned and set up awaiting our arrival.
Just after lunchtime we were given the green light. We packed everything up and carefully placed our precious boys into their car seats.
I will never forget the feeling when we left the hospital. I was on top of the world to be allowed home. Only a week before, I wasn’t sure if I was going to live to see the next day.
As we walked to the lift, I couldn’t stop shaking.
The emotion was overwhelming.
I felt like someone was going to stop us and say: “Hey, you can’t take these kids home”.
But, no one did. The staff just wished us well.
I remember being so scared at how small they looked in their car seats.
Two little dots; fragile, dependant and so incredibly cute.
When we drove home, it was probably the slowest and most careful my hubby has ever driven.
We entered our home, sat the boys in the middle of the living room, then wondered: what now? What happens next? What do we do?
Of course the answer was – a very British – lets put the kettle on…
My HELLP journey was not over after leaving the hospital. It took a few years to finally feel back to myself. I was constantly monitored after I was discharged. The blood tests, blood pressure tests and check ups were continuous. In fact, my last blood tests were done when the boys were two and a half years old. I have been very lucky to manage to escape HELLP syndrome relatively unharmed. No long term affects on my liver or kidneys. I only have slightly elevated blood pressure, something that has never returned to normal after the birth of the boys.
I was, of course, also lucky to walk away from HELLP Syndrome with two healthy and happy little boys.
Every day, I thank my lucky stars.
Next week, concludes my journey through HELLP syndrome, where I will share the insights from my medical notes.
Want to read more about my story, find previous posts here.