Only Child Syndrome (O)

Only Child Syndrome (O)

I have a thing about boxes.  Not the cardboard kind.

When I was a child I was ‘boxed’.  According to one teacher I was the following:

An only-child, therefore:

a spoiled brat.  

Anti-social and unable to make friends.  

Didn’t mix with other children.  



I have to point out this assumption was made BEFORE I joined her class.  Before she new me.  Before she had a chance to talk to me.  This teacher had the cheek to say this, or words to this effect, to my parents.

After all; it was a fair assumption, was it not?

I was an only-child and all only-children are the same.  Exactly the same.  No room for personality or individuality.

The only child looks out into the world

Here is what I am actually like:

Yes I am an only-child.  

I was never spoiled, unless you count being spoiled with love and affection (I suspect this is not what the teacher meant).  

I love to talk, A LOT.  

I have always found it easy to make friends and I have been fortunate to be surrounded by great friends who have stuck with me for years. 

I do like my own company, but I also love the company of others.

On some occasions I can be shy (public speaking, arghh!).  BUT, I am in no way an introvert.  To prove my point I am a reporter for a newspaper, you cant do that job if you are an introvert!

Here is what I have to say to that teacher.  I was just a child.  I had a world of opportunities awaiting me.  I could have been anything.  With the right guidance – the right teacher – I could be anything I wanted.  Surely that was your job?  But instead you put me in a box, labelled me and filled me away.

What makes people automatically put people into boxes anyway?

Why do we have to fit a stereotype or be categorised in a certain way?

Why  should we assume that someone is a certain way because of the colour of their skin, where they were born, what their sexual preferences are or what they choose to wear?

Why cant we just be ourselves?  Individual.  Unique.  Special.

I am not square, so what makes you think I would fit into a box anyway?

I hate boxes.  

The only child as an adult embracing the world around her

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  1. 17th May 2016 / 10:32 pm

    Not a good teacher by any stretch of the imagination. I think you just have to look at certain sets of siblings to see that extrovert and introvert have bugger all to do with the company you may or not have foisted upon you by your parents! My nieces are at completely opposite ends of that spectrum. I’d also reason that an only child may well be more sociable as they probably crave company outside of the home more than a child who has siblings. I’ve got a sister and I’m an introvert – and I agree that it is impossible to be a working journalist and an introvert as it was my (completely unrealistic as it turns out) dream to be a journalist when I was younger to the extent of doing an HND in periodical journalism at the London College of Printing at the age of 18. I would say though that now I’m in my forties I am beginning to realise that ‘introvert’ doesn’t have to be a dirty word – I was also shy in my youth but nowadays shyness and introversion don’t necessarily go hand in hand. It just means that you enjoy your own company (and yes, I also enjoy the company of others) and recharge your energy by being alone rather than through gregarious social interactions and non-stop chatter. Thanks so much for linking up to #thetruthabout!

    • Double the Monkey Business
      21st May 2016 / 7:29 pm

      I agree… children are what they are, regardless of what siblings they do / do not have. I think my parents would have been offended even if she had got my card marked correctly. It is the assumption that annoyed them most. Thanks for reading xx

  2. 17th May 2016 / 7:48 pm

    Yeah, dangerous thing to do, making assumptions like that. Very unfair on you. Doesn’t sound like a good teacher at all. #truthabout

    • Double the Monkey Business
      21st May 2016 / 7:31 pm

      Very dangeous indeed to make assumptions on little ones. Thanks for reading 🙂 x

  3. 17th May 2016 / 4:50 pm

    Love this! I too am an only child and feel like I’ve always had to fight against the stereotype. I’m an extrovert, not spoilt per say and although I like quiet & alone time, I’m also someone who loves being around people and doesn’t stop talking too! I hate how people automatically assume that as an only child I will be spoilt, selfish and want everything on my terms. I politely remind them that when they assume, it makes an ass out of u and me! 😉 Great post x

    • Double the Monkey Business
      21st May 2016 / 7:33 pm

      It certainly does. I am going to use that the next time 🙂 thanks for reading xx

  4. 17th May 2016 / 12:18 am

    I too was an only child but I don’t ever remember feeling labeled. Not until I was older and from peers. I didn’t like being an only child though. And to this day wish I had a sibling to bond with. I have a half brother and sister but the age difference prevents a bond I think. Thanks so much for linking with #momsterslink and I apologize for the delay in commenting as blogging has been on the back burner.

    • Double the Monkey Business
      21st May 2016 / 7:36 pm

      Ah dont worry about that, I am hugely behind with replying to comments on here as well. I also missed having a sibling, especially now I see the bond my two have. Well when they are not fighting that is 🙂 x

  5. 15th May 2016 / 6:06 pm

    Labels and boxes and stigma. Why do we do it? I hate them. And I really hate it when I find myself pre-judging someone, or judging at all. We are all who we are, and I love it when I’m proven wrong, it makes me learn and grow. What a wonderful world this would be if we wouldn’t form opinions before we get the facts! ARG!

    • Double the Monkey Business
      21st May 2016 / 7:43 pm

      Absolutely, I hate it to but I am also guilty at times. It annoys me when I do it to xx

  6. 13th May 2016 / 6:48 am

    I hate labels, and boxes. I often find if people have labeled me I end up acting differently to prove them wrong. It’s just ridiculous.

    • Double the Monkey Business
      21st May 2016 / 7:55 pm

      ha ha me too!!!! I like to prove people wrong x

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