Putting my Face on

This expression, “putting my face on” is one my mum uses a lot.  Not sure if she realises it though.

For example, she might say:  “we can’t go out yet, I need to put my face on.”

By this she means her make-up.  Not an actual different face.

It’s an expression I love.  I will tell you why.

It reminds me of my mum, being brave and putting make-up on to get on with the day, facing the world when things are getting her down.

Whether this was how she meant it I don’t know.  Mum: feel free to comment below!

These words went through my head, though, after a few days being locked up in High Dependancy.

I needed to express milk for the babies. I had read about the benefits of breast milk, knew it was important and wanted to give them the best possible start.  But I was struggling to get them to latch on so the midwife suggested expressing some milk. That also meant the hubby could feed them if I was sleeping.

The doctor said I would need a wheelchair as the express machine was on the floor below us.

I feel the need to point out that I have a lot of my mum in me.  A lot of determination. In our family we call it ‘the Urquhart spirit’.

Oh, and I don’t like being told what to do.

I especially don’t like being told what not to do.

I am extremely stubborn.

As it turns out my children have this in them too but that is for another post.
When I packed my hospital bag, I included make-up, after all I would want to put my face on every day… No?  I am sure you will not be surprised that my make-up had stayed, neglected, in my bag up until is point.

So what did I do?

I dressed, pinned my hair up and put my face on.  No doctor – who knows exactly what he is doing – is going to tell me what I can or can’t do.  I was determined to walk, ignoring the suggestion of using a wheelchair.

Leaving the twins with the hubby, I went down to the pre-natal ward to express milk. I have to point out I took the lift.  I really wasn’t well and thought I might keels over on the stairs.

When I got to the room I collapsed in the chair, heart racing, faint headed and exhausted.

But I felt good.  For the first time in days, I felt in control. I was smug. With hindsight, I was also a bit silly….

On the way back to High Dependency, I happened to bump into my doctor in the lift. He was stunned and I pretended I felt absolutely fine. I didn’t but I was damned if he was going to see that.

He knew, of course; he must have known.

Later on, he said to me, you know a lot of people would just lie down to this but you are pretty strong-willed.

Yep, that’s me, strong-willed, stubborn, exhausted and probably at risk from fainting in the lift. But I did it and I felt good!

I felt like this was a turning point for me.  In a way, it was but I had no idea that I wouldn’t feel back to my pre-HELLP self for a good two years.

Thankfully, we didn’t know what is ahead of us but there is a lot to be said for putting your face on….

Putting my face on

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16 Comments

  1. 21st June 2016 / 2:30 am

    I’ve always liked the term “put your big girl panties on” as well. It’s good that you were strong and trusted yourself and your will to do what you wanted…what you felt best for you. Thank you for linking with #momsterslink and I must apologize for my delay in commenting as I’m on vacation and still trying to get blogging done 😉

    • Double the Monkey Business
      27th June 2016 / 7:33 pm

      That is a great term too! no problem on the delay, I hope you had a fab holiday xxx

  2. 11th June 2016 / 5:52 pm

    You are such a fighter and I admire you for it. I love your story.

    Thank you so much for sharing your personal post with me on #FabFridayPost xx

    • Double the Monkey Business
      16th June 2016 / 8:29 pm

      Thank you hun x

  3. 10th June 2016 / 4:59 pm

    I love this post, what a great message. Thanks for sharing! #FabFridayPost

    • Double the Monkey Business
      10th June 2016 / 9:37 pm

      thank you hun x

  4. 4th June 2016 / 9:26 pm

    This is a brilliant way of seeing this simplistic phrase, God knows you have a lot of fire in your belly! Good for you, you are one very very strong woman! XXXX

    • Double the Monkey Business
      10th June 2016 / 12:33 pm

      Aw thanks hun, I am inspired by a very strong lady, my mum 🙂 xxx

  5. Mum x
    4th June 2016 / 5:20 pm

    The Urquhart determination runs through us all
    You always feel better with your makeup on when you are unwell

    • Double the Monkey Business
      10th June 2016 / 12:34 pm

      It certainly does mum 🙂 xxxx

  6. 4th June 2016 / 1:22 pm

    Good for you, lady! I have always thought of it as just putting make-up on, but really, it is, as in the case of your mum, a way of getting ready for, and facing the world!

    • Double the Monkey Business
      10th June 2016 / 12:35 pm

      Absolutely, it is a good way of looking at it and it has always meant this for me 🙂 xxx

  7. 3rd June 2016 / 9:37 am

    A great post about inner-strength, I admire you for doing what you did. I’ve never been one to “put my face on”, but then I’ve never really known how to! It sounds like that particular day really helped you feel a little more like yourself. Thanks for sharing. x

    • Double the Monkey Business
      10th June 2016 / 12:36 pm

      Thank you, I don’t wear a lot of makeup either as a rule, it definitely helped me that day! x

  8. 3rd June 2016 / 6:27 am

    I love that phrase too Yvonne.
    A multi-faceted phrase.
    Thank goodness you are determined because my goodness you needed that strength to get over what you have.
    I have a friend also with the surname Urquhart (Scottish right??) – It sounds very grand. I love it!x

    • Double the Monkey Business
      10th June 2016 / 12:36 pm

      Yes Scottish!! We are probably related somewhere down the line ha ha! x

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