As the end of my maternity leave started to rear its ugly head, my heart was heavy with dread. I really didn’t want to leave the boys, it took me so long to recover from HELLP that it took forever for me to get into the swing of things… well the fact I was recovering, along with the inevitable sleep deprivation that comes with being a new mummy.
So I was thrilled, to say the least, when an opportunity came up to move to Germany, meaning we could afford for me to stay at home for a little bit longer.
That was a few years ago now and in the summer of last year, I decided to look for a new job. I was thrilled when I got an exciting new role, writing and editing for a newspaper.
However, I was worried:
- How was I going to fit everything in with a job as well
- I felt guilty about working and ‘leaving’ the boys
- How will I cope if the boys are up in the night and I am shattered in the day.
- How on earth was I going to get us all out the door early enough in the morning to get them to kindergarten and me to work EVERY DAY?????
- I feared that my brain-cells had depreciated to the point of non-existence, after 3 years of doing nothing more taxing than singing the alphabet and counting to 10!
I can’t tell you how much I admire the mummy’s who go back to work sooner, hats off to you all – I think you are all amazing! It was hard enough going back when I did, and the boys were just about to turn three.
Six months on I can now reflect back on my fears:
- Everything does just fit in, well maybe not everything but the important things are still done every day, like giving my boys cuddles and reading them books. Housework can wait, or at least it can until it is really driving you really crazy!
- Mummy guilt comes with the territory, I am yet to meet a mummy that doesn’t have this, so if I didn’t feel guilty about working it would, no doubt, be about something else!
- Tiredness: That is what coffee and biscuits are for!
- Getting out the door in the morning is still impossible, we are often rushing and my neighbours can usually see me rushing out the door in the morning, telling the boys to stop standing in the middle of the garden to watch the grass grow and quickly get into the car. They don’t listen of course.
- As for my brain-cells… well you may have to ask my colleagues.
So what is the best thing about being back at work, well I do think it makes me a happier mummy, I get to do something that is just about me.. that and my fabulous colleagues love cake….and I very much like cake!